Now I know you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son.” (Let’s play a game! Name another leader who ruled through fear. I’ll go first.)
God tested Abraham’s faith. He said “Take Isaac and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on the mountain I show you.”
The next morning Abraham saddled his donkey and took two servants and Isaac with him. Then he chopped wood for the burnt offering and set out. On the third day, Abraham saw the place in the distance. He told the servants to stay with the donkey. “The boy and I will travel farther. We will worship and then come right back.”
Isaac carried the burnt offering and Abraham carried the fire and the knife. (How was he carrying fire?) AS they walked, Isaac asked “Father, where is the sheep for the burnt offering.”
“God will provide the sheep,” Abraham lied.
When they arrived at the place, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied Isaac and laid him on the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. At that moment, an angel called from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham! Don’t lay a hand on the boy! Now I know you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son.” (Let’s play a game! Name another leader who ruled through fear. I’ll go first.)
Then Abraham saw a ram caught in a thicket. So he took it and sacrificed it instead of Isaac. Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh, which means “the Lord will provide.” Apparently people still use the saying, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”
Then the angel called again to Abraham. “God promises to bless you since you were going to obey me. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies.”
Then they returned to Beersheba.
Soon after, Abraham heard that his sister-in-law had birthed a lot of kids.
I fear that you’ll drown in my love.
Who taught us to fear failure?
At what point does failing begin to scare us?
After we learn to walk?
Bruised knees and countless falls didn’t stop us
After learning to ride?
Skinned knees and elbows didn’t stop us
When did failing become something to avoid at all costs?
When did we learn to fear failure?
Who taught us?
Fear emerges from a chrysalis and transforms into a kaleidoscope of dreams.
The first step is hard
Feels like an anvil resting on your foot
Crushing the delicate bones
But instead of pain
You feel comfort
Comfort knowing you can’t step off the edge
Plunge into the depths
It was you who placed the anvil on your foot in the first place
You who listened to the doubts
The naysayers
That anvil keeps you safe
But if you’ll only pick it up
Toss it over the side
Inch your toes forward
Let them dangle over the edge
The fear begins to transform
Emerging from a chrysalis
Becomes a kaleidoscope of butterflies
As these beautiful insects flutter in your stomach
Your heels will lift
Your toes will rise
And if you’ll only take a step
They’ll carry you down gently
Past the doubt
Past the fear
And place you softly on the doorstep of your dreams
Knock
Who will I be if I give you up?
Will I still be the person I am today?
What if I go back to the person I was?
Who will I be if I give you up?
I needed you at one point
Do I still?
I would have to give you up to know
Who will I be?
Will I still be the person I am today?
The person I want to be
If not, does that mean I’m dependent?
Dependent on you for happiness?
For energy?
Motivation?
I can’t just stop
I would have to wean myself
Even so, I’m scared
What if I go back to the person I was?
The person I don’t want to be
In the place I don’t want to be
You are just one weapon in my arsenal
Yet the one I choose most often to slay my demons
The one who prevents them from rising from the depths
If I lay you down, would the rest be enough?
I’m not sure I want to find out
And for what?
To prove therapy worked?
That I’m more patient?
More realistic when dealing with my emotions?
Is it worth it?
I don’t know
But it’s 10pm
Time to take my Lexapro
Arsenio Franklin 