
Christmas Dinner

Day 2, we made it!
Day 2, we made it! I’ve felt fantastic the past couple of days. I cleaned a majority of the house Sunday and it didn’t even feel like a chore. I haven’t been smothering myself in thoughts. Make a decision and go with it.
We’re looking at selling our house. We bought ours for $80,000 and the house beside us sold for nearly $200,000. They are similar so we’re hoping to make a lot of money, buy land and a tiny house. All I need is wifi.
Most of my running lately has been easy, just biding time until it’s time to start training. Yesterday I went for 6.16 miles at a 10:38 pace.
A poem featuring some of my endless thoughts when my OCD and anxiety were worst.
Am I walking too fast?
I’m walking too fast
Slow down
That book is off-center
I stop. Leave it be. I walk.
It’s off-center. I backtrack. Leave it be. I walk
My glass is empty
I’m thirsty
Should I fill it?
I’ll wait till I get up
But I’m thirsty
Then fill it
No
Laura’s talking while I’m tracing door frames
Counting window panes
Typing in my head
The tips of my fingers twitching with every imaginary stroke
Windows down or air on?
Windows down or air on?
I may not call. I may not text. But I keep the same number. To see what’s next.
I may not call
I may not text
But I keep the same number
To see what’s next
Several months pass
Where are you at
I keep the same number
In case you want to chat
If you don’t hear from me
Don’t think you’re forgotten
I just don’t have much to say
I don’t talk about myself
Or give my opinions
So if you hear me speak
Please stop and listen
When you’re talking to me
I’m not half-asleep
I’m worried about my lack of thoughts
They’re forming while I listen
Don’t give up on our conversation
I know it’s like pulling teeth
Getting words out of me
Is difficult, I see
I have stuff to say
But still, not a lot
I keep the same number
Hoping you’ll force me to talk