3 Weeks Off Because of a Sprained Foot

I haven’t run in 3 weeks. After 1 week of not running while on vacation. This latest break wasn’t a choice. I hurt my right foot playing basketball. Came down and tried going into my 2nd jump before landing. POP! I sprained my foot. (At least that’s my initial self-diagnosis). I hopped to the sideline trying not to curse in the church gym.

I thought I’d be back running in a week, playing ball in two. Nope. Now I’m in a state of overreaction, swearing I’ll never play again. Definitely not while training. The half-marathon I was training for is at the end of October. After the 1st week of my injury I was prepared to race even if my foot healed right before the race, lack of training be damned. The other night I accepted it’s realistic I won’t be ready and let myself cry for five minutes. (The runner info email got to me. Thanks to Laura for the shoulder).

I love running and am reminded how important it is for me to run. I’ve been more anxious. The sense of accomplishment after each run or a successful week is gone. I haven’t felt like myself. Yesterday I had my first episode in a while. I’m fine but running is an important part of me. I’ve been doing more exercises and riding the stationary bike and might take up swimming.

My foot is much better, the swelling has gone down. There’s discomfort when I try to run and hurts if I flex it a certain way. Every few days I’ll jog inside and think I’m fine until I plant a certain way and realize I’m not. Here I go.

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Losing My Garmin, Not My Mind

Vacation isn’t supposed to make you think about depression, but that’s the main theme of last week. I had a great time and was mentally in a good place while we were gone, but I was reminded just how much work I have to do (as well as how far I’ve come). Outside of the routine I’ve constructed in my day to day life (run, stretch, breakfast, shower, write, read, work) I was more anxious. My routine masks some of those feelings, and of course I didn’t notice until my routine changed.

I also lost my Garmin watch to the ocean.  What I didn’t lose was my mind. It sucked. But I was able to move on fairly quickly. It may have even lessened my anxiety. I’m constantly looking at my watch, wondering what’s next. How much time? On and on. Even on vacation with nothing to do, I constantly checked my watch. Without it I could completely disconnect.

While away I took a break from running and writing, even though I’m in the middle of training for a half marathon. Not running was especially tough, but it was the classic case of taking a break to miss it. I can’t wait to get back out there this week.  My new Garmin watch will be here tomorrow. Because if you didn’t track your run it didn’t happen.

Tarahumara

This poem was inspired by Christopher McDougall’s book, Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen.

A whisper in the wind

Chilling as he passes

Gathering impressions left in life

Leaves rustle as he darts

A running partner for the unaware

Erasing their footprints with a swipe of his hand

And gathering fallen hairs

Saving them from another life spent retracing steps

Depressed House Husband Runs Marathon

There was a time I couldn’t drive to Wal-Mart without having an episode. There was a time I couldn’t will myself out of bed. There was a time when a good day meant showering and eating. There was a time when I had to hurt myself to feel anything at all. I ran 26.2 fucking miles Saturday.

There were two turning points in my life. The first was Laura giving me an ultimatum: GET HELP. I can’t thank her enough for those words that day and all she’d done leading up to it. The second turning point was early 2017 after my first 8 mile run. I was training for my first half-marathon and she rode her bike alongside me. She was crying when I finished and said she wasn’t sure she would ever get me back. Well here I am, and I couldn’t have done it without her.

Don’t confuse my grimace for a smile.

If you’re interested, here’s a recap of my race because I’m still pumped up.

I didn’t train for a specific time or the course, I just wanted to finish. However, my competitive juices were flowing in the final weeks and I set an aggressive goal of 4:30. For my first marathon on a VeRy HiLlY course. I ended up finishing in 5:30.

The first half was fine. I was cruising along when I decided to slow down because I was slightly faster than needed. I ran into the wall at mile 21, which was right before the course turned into Shelby Park. This was the hardest part. Not only because of the wall, but because there were no spectators in the park. I walked a majority of the way until exiting the park at about mile 23. At this point I had to think about each step in order to move at a trot. I walked up the remaining hills and emptied the tank by running the last two miles.

It was physically the hardest thing I’ve done and mentally exhausting. Everything hurt except my face. But as much as it sucked, after taking a few weeks off, I’ll start running again. And my plan is do do another marathon in the spring. This time in 4:30.

Marathon Jitters

Tomorrow is my first marathon and I’m super excited. I cannot wait. I’ve done nothing today except play Assassin’s Creed Origins. That’s all I can do. My mind is running wild.

It’s been hard to write these past few weeks because all I can think about is tomorrow. Hopefully it all goes well and I’ll start posting more regularly. Depending on how sore I am, writing may be all I’m able to do. Wish me luck!