Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 34

“Our sister can’t marry an uncircumcised man! It would be a disgrace. Have all your men snip their tips and we’ll accept the marriages.”

Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, was raped by the local prince, Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite. Then he fell in love with her and tried to win her affection with tender words. He told his father, “Get me this young girl. I want to marry her.”

Jacob heard what had happened, but his sons were in the fields so he waited to confront Shechem. Meanwhile, Hamor came to discuss the matter with Jacob. His sons had come in from the fields and were pissed that their sister had been raped.

Hamor said, “My son is truly in love with your daughter. Let them marry. In fact, let’s arrange other marriages. Your daughters for our sons, and our daughters for your sons. And you may live among us.”

Then Shechem spoke. “Please be kind and let me marry her. I will pay any gift. Just give me her as my wife.”

Jacob’s sons responded deceitfully. “Our sister can’t marry an uncircumcised man! It would be a disgrace. Have all your men snip their tips and we’ll accept the marriages.”

Hamor and Shechem accepted the terms and went to present the proposal to the town leaders.
The leaders agreed and every man in town was circumcised.

But three days later, wounds still sore, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, killed every man in town, including Hamor and Shechem. They also rescued Dinah from Shechem’s house, where she’d been this entire time. The rest of his sons plundered the town and took the children and women as captives.

Afterward Jacob told Simeon and Levi, “You have ruined me! You have made me stink! Everyone will join forces to destroy us and wipe out my household.”
“But why should we let him treat our sister like a prostitute?” they asked angrily.


Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 24

She was beautiful, old enough to be married, and still a virgin. Check, check, check.

One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the one in charge of his household, “Take an oath by putting your hand under my thigh. Swear to God that you will not allow my son to marry a Canaanite woman. Instead, go to my homeland, my relatives, and find Isaac a wife there.”

The servant asked, “But what if I can’t find a young woman willing to travel back here. Should I take Isaac there?”
“No! Never take my son there. This here land was promised to my descendants by God. He will send an angel ahead of you to find a wife for my son. If she won’t come back, you’re free from this oath. But never take my son there.”
The servant loaded 10 camels with expensive gifts and traveled to Aram-naharaim. Abraham’s brother Nahor lived here. The camels knelt beside a well just outside town where women were collecting water.
The servant prayed, “God, please give me success and show unfailing love to my master Abraham. I will ask one of the women to give me a drink from her jug. If she says ‘Yes, and I’ll water your camels, too,’ let her become Isaac’s wife.”
Before he finished praying, Rebekah came to fill her jug. Rebekah was Abraham’s niece. She was beautiful, old enough to be married, and still a virgin. Check, check, check.

The servant asked her for a drink from her jug.
“Yes, my lord,” she answered. When he finished, she said “I’ll get water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink.” She emptied her jug into the trough and went back to get more water.
When the camels were finished drinking, he took out a gold nose ring and two large gold bracelets. He asked who she was and if her father would have room for them to stay the night.
She said “Yes, we have room for guests and plenty of straw and feed for the camel.”
He thanked God for bringing him directly to Abraham’s relatives, because that’s the number one thing you look for in a romantic relationship.
Rebekah rushed home and told her family about the man outside. Her brother, Laban, came outside and said to the servant, “Come stay with us, you who are blessed by God! We have a room ready for you and a place prepared for the camels.”
The servant went inside but declined to eat until telling them why he’d come. “I am Abraham’s servant,” he said. “God has blessed him and made him wealthy.” Then he told them all about the oath he’d taken for Abraham. “Will you or won’t you show unfailing love and faithfulness to my master? Yes or no.”

Laban said “God has obviously brought you here, so there is nothing we can say.” (What did Rebekah want?) “Take Rebekah and go. Let her be the wife of your master’s son, as God has directed.”
The servant bowed and worshiped God, then he gave Rebekah jewelry and clothing. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother. Then they ate and went to bed. (I feel like a certain someone’s opinion is missing?)
Rebekah’s brother and mother wanted her to stay at least ten days before leaving.
(I’m tired of typing ‘the servant.’ His name is Bob Jeffery. BJ for short.) BJ said “Don’t make me wait. I’ve accomplished my mission, now send me back.”
In a shocking twist, they decided to ask Rebekah what she thought.
“Yes, I’ll go with this man,” she said.
Rebekah’s childhood nurse left with them. Her family gave her this blessing as they parted: “May you a bunch of descendants and may the conquer their enemies!”
Isaac was in the fields meditating when they arrived. Rebekah covered her face with a veil.
Isaac and Rebekah were married in his mother’s tent and she comforted him after the death of his mother.