What I’ve Learned From Being a Father

1. Carpet and babies don’t mix. Vomit. Spit-up. Pee. Poop. Food. We used to be so particular about keeping our carpets clean. Now we’ll clean them before we sell.
2. The birth of my daughter is something I’ll never forget. You’re probably thinking “obviously,” but I literally remember everything. From the time my wife’s water broke on Thanksgiving morning to the day we brought her home. Every second is seared into my brain.
3. Babies smell soooooo good. I would buy a baby scented candle. Gavi’s mouth smelled like a bag of sour cream and cheddar chips for the longest time.
4. Everything you own will end up in your baby’s mouth. Whether it fits or not.
5. Patience. Probably the #1 lesson learned. Your time is no longer just your time. She may feed for an hour. She may chew her bib between bites of food. Every time you turn on that show you really want to watch, she’ll scream. On the bright side, when your baby starts napping alone you’ll feel like a superhero with how much you can accomplish in 30 minutes.
6. How hard being a mother is. Very. There are times when only a mother can soothe a baby. Whenever I think Gavi is being needy, I just think how demanding she is of Laura. If I’m exhausted, how is she feeling?
7. There are levels to poops. Meconium. Breast milk poop is sweet, “some” would say it smells good. Once food is introduced, that’s when shit happens. And the prizes don’t stand a chance against a box of cereal. Paper bits. A panda ear made from modeling clay. Part of a leaf.
8. Household items are more fun to play with than the toys you researched for hours and spent your money on. Honestly, what sounds better to you? “Designed with your baby’s development and motor skills in mind” or “No! Don’t touch that.”
9. Your baby is only hurt if you act like it.
10. A different type of love. I love her more every day. I could watch her do anything for hours. It really hits me when I’m holding her and feel her heartbeat.
11. Time flies. I already knew this, but still. And it’s happening right before my eyes.
12. Spend time with your significant other before the baby arrives. Stock up like a bear preparing for hibernation.
13. Laundry isn’t a once-a-week chore. If she gets dirty, you’re dirty.
14. I’d rather get punched in the face than see her cry.

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I’m Scared of Failing as a Husband

My biggest fear is that I’m not a good husband. I know I am, especially today. In the past, maybe not so much. But definitely today. I’m a good husband. And yet, every other day or so, it pops into my mind. “What if I’m not a good husband?” Laura says I am, but it keeps popping up.

What is your biggest fear?

The Call

I knew it was you on the first ring

Too early in the morning

Too late in death’s grasp

Almost perfunctory

My Grandparents’ Old Home

I knew the halls and rooms like my own

But it was a maze I could still get lost in

Always something new to discover

Sometimes when no one was looking

A drawer full of old coins

Or old military buttons or pins

The bottom bunk where I would nap after church

The pantry was magical

Filled with sweet treasures

Always my first stop

The home left an indelible mark on my soul

Like the go-kart tracks on my brother’s back

 

Inner Child

Longing doesn’t dissipate with age

Memories hopefully don’t fade

To catch a gleam in a parent’s eye

Thinking back to a day from childhood

Distant siblings, parents passed

For who is their inner child reaching

 

See them not as a parent

A giver or caretaker of life

But as a human

With unfulfilled dreams and some yet to come

Still discovering life with no one to seek advice from

 

And yet, they live

Keeping wishes and ideas alive inside

For once they are gone

The inner child dies